If the Zodiacs Were Desserts, Part 4: What Dessert Is Your Zodiac Sign and Why Should You Bake it Right Away?

Part 4 takes a slight dramatic turn with Taurus, Scorpio and Aquarius baking in the same space. We have for you three different desserts measuring from sinful, to berrylicious to plain creamy that will be the dessert soulmates to these signs.

Welcome back to the series “If the Zodiacs Were Desserts,” and in this final part we have with us two mysterious signs—one water and one air, and to keep them company we have thrown in an earth sign that has the reputation for being a foodie and super lazy (and might just also be the author of this series, which goes to show that they love to eat)

For this final installment we have Scorpio, Taurus and Aquarius lined up with indulgent desserts that are sure to break the ice if you are trying to befriend or impress any of them without much success so far. There’s much to talk about these signs with Scorpio making it to the top of the (un)popular hate list for as they are infamously vindictive, followed by the introverted intellectual Aquarius who are frustratingly shy at times, and Taurus with their inability to ever be wrong. After all, they are a bunch of bulls!

1. Scorpio’s Dark Chocolate-Espresso Torte

Knowing a Scorpio can be a rewarding experience, or, you may end up spending several years in therapy because of them (jk). But depending on the version you meet, this layered and mysterious sign is best represented by a dark, energizing dessert that captures their soul. We feel a Dark Chocolate-Espresso Torte fits them best.

Serves 12

Ingredients:

For the cake:

• 200 gm dark chocolate, chopped
• 110 gm butter
• 4 eggs, separated
• 110 gm sugar
• 1 tbsp instant espresso powder
• 50 gm all-purpose flour

For the filling:

• 500 gm mascarpone cheese
• 250 ml heavy cream
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla

For the ganache:

• 200 gm dark chocolate, chopped
• 250 ml heavy cream

Instructions:

• Preheat the oven to 180°C. Grease a 23 cm springform pan and line the bottom with parchment paper.
• Melt the chocolate and the butter in a heatproof bowl set over a saucepan of simmering water. Remove from heat and let cool slightly.
• In a large bowl, beat egg yolks with 50 gm sugar until pale and thickened. Beat in espresso powder. Fold in chocolate mixture.
• In a clean bowl, beat the egg whites with the remaining sugar until soft peaks form. Gently fold into batter. Sift in flour and fold to combine.
• Pour batter into the prepared pan and bake for 30-35 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool completely before removing the sides of the pan.
• For filling, beat mascarpone, cream, sugar and vanilla in a bowl until smooth.
• For ganache, place the chocolate in a bowl. Heat the cream in a saucepan and pour over the chocolate. Let it sit for 5 minutes, then stir until smooth.
• To assemble, slice the cake horizontally into 3 layers. Fill and frost the layers with mascarpone mixture. Pour the ganache on top to drizzle down the sides. Chill before serving.

2. Taurus’s Creamy Cheesecake

Tauruses are known for their stable, steadfast nature, and a weakness for anything luxurious; throw in a creamy cheesecake in the mix and watch their façade dissolve into a hot mess. Get the taste and texture just right and you will win over even the most stubborn bull.

Serves 12

Ingredients:

• 250 gm chocolate cookie crumbs or crushed Oreo Cookies
• 110 gm butter, melted
• 900 gm cream cheese, softened
• 200 gm sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 250 ml sour cream

Instructions:

• Preheat the oven to 180°C. Line the bottom of a 23 cm springform pan with parchment paper.
• In a bowl, mix the cookie crumbs/crackers with the melted butter until thoroughly combined, and the mixture resembles wet sand. Press the crust firmly and evenly into the bottom of the prepared pan.
• In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese with an electric mixer until smooth and creamy. Gradually beat in the sugar until fully incorporated and no lumps remain.
• Beat in the eggs one at a time until just combined, making sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl after each addition. Then stir in the vanilla.
• Fold the sour cream into the batter gently but thoroughly until just a few streaks remain. Do not overmix.
• Pour the batter smoothly over the prepared crust.
• Bake for 1 hour 10 minutes until the center is set but still slightly wobbly.
• Allow to cool completely at room temperature, then refrigerate for at least 6 hours before serving.

3. Aquarius’s Blueberry Crisp

The withdrawn intellectual of the zodiacs, Aquarius is often misunderstood but is said to make the creative geniuses’ population of the world. For them the Blueberry Crisp is a perfect fit. Talk to them about their favorite subjects and watch them bloom like this crisp.

Serves 8

Ingredients:

Filling:

• 750 gm fresh blueberries
• 80 ml water
• 100 gm sugar
• 2 tbsp cornstarch
• Zest of 1 lemon

Topping:

• 150 gm all-purpose flour
• 100 gm rolled oats
• 100 gm brown sugar
• Pinch salt
• 120 gm butter, chilled

Instructions:

• Preheat the oven to 180°C.
• In a medium bowl, toss blueberries gently to coat with water, sugar and cornstarch. This helps thicken the filling.
• Transfer fruit to a 23 cm baking dish. No need to wash the bowl yet.
• In the same bowl, mix dry topping ingredients. Use your fingers or a pastry cutter to work the butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
• Sprinkle topping evenly over fruit. The crumbs will melt into a solid layer during baking.
• Bake for 45-50 minutes, until the fruit is bubbling and the topping is golden brown. Check after 30 minutes in case the topping is browning too quickly.
• Allow to cool for 15 minutes before serving warm.